Cathie's Blog

Thursday, July 28, 2005

This may be the greatest website ever.....We all thank you, Barbie

From: Barbra
Sent: Wednesday, July 27, 2005 10:07 AM
To: 'Christina Burns'; 'Catherine Burns';; 'Jessica Gonzalez'; 'Keyla Alba-Reilly';

Good Morning Ladies,
Now you all know I love to set up all my single friends and most of you find this annoying but today all that ends!
You may be asking yourselves …why Barbie? Well it’s because I have what has to be the perfect man. Unfortunately for all of you there is only one of him and SOOOOO many of you but I think if we have a cage match to the death to see who is worthy of him that would work.
And now without further ado ….I present the man of your dreams

Don’t thank me now, just let me give the toast at your wedding


Posted by Catronics :: 7/28/2005 :: 3 Comments:

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Thursday, July 21, 2005

I'm published!!! Under the pen name "C.B."

Check out what FOX Fans are saying:

"Judge John G. Roberts Jr. appears to be a highly qualified, well-respected and fair judicial nominee. He deserves a full senate vote. Please don't hang this nominee up in committee or invoke the filibuster." — Sherrill

"I cannot believe that Bush did not choose a woman. When more than half of the U.S. population consists of women, I am in complete disgust that women are not more equally represented in the U.S. Supreme Court. He should be ashamed." — C.B.

"Hopefully this will backfire on the Bush Administration and we'll have a quick confirmation so that it does not distract from the real blunders (quagmire in Iraq, Karl Rove cover up, etc.)." — Shawn (Johnstown, PA),2933,162975,00.html

I am awesome.

Posted by Catronics :: 7/21/2005 :: 4 Comments:

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Thursday, July 14, 2005

Join me.....

So, I plugged my iPod into my sister’s iTunes (because she has the ultimate collection) and I thought some of you would enjoy a little stroll down memory lane…Please bare with me while I scan through song by song to pick out only the best...

1. Buffalo Stance-Neneh Cherry “He’s a gigolo maaaaan!”

2. Circle- Edie Brickell “I quit…I give up!” How depressing.

3. Casey Jones-Grateful Dead “Driving that train….high on (edited)…” Awesome.

4. Come on Eileen- Dexy’s Midnight Running I can’t help but think of Jim singing this song in some random downtown Chicago bar. Along with about 40 drunk chicks….he was mocking them, of course….

5. Could’ve Been-Tiffany. “Could’ve been so beautiful…could’ve been so right” Could’ve ended her career. No, seriously, I am not kidding….It’s really on my iPod. I am listening to it now. My side hurts…laugh cramps. I really use to LOVE this song.

6. Eye of the Tiger-Survivor…. There are no words. A classic. (A stroll down memory lane for my CH readers: Mark singing this karaoke on the X-mas cruise….)

7. Fade Into You-Mazzy Star Still one of my favorites

8. Foolish Beat- Debbie Gibson Almost as good as “Electric Youth”

9. Heaven-Warrant …and Cherry Pie…do any of you remember that video?

10. Here I Go Again- Whitesnake No words except [Cartman’s voice] “Kick-ass…”

11. Hey Jealousy- Gin Blossoms This is a freakin’ GREAT song! Reminds me of the summer before 10th grade…. And of the bee song! What was the name of that?? By Blindmelon?!??! Anyone remember? Jill, I know you do!

12. Hits from the Bong- Cypress Hill…..oh my… “…just got an ounce in the maaaail…”….and “Insane in the Membrane” (“Who you tryin’ to get crazy with ese?...Don’t you know I’m locooooo” and “I Wanna Get High (so high).” That “Black Sunday” CD was somethin’ else….

13. I’d Die Without You- P.M. Dawn Wow. That enormously huge guy with dreads that sang this song was peculiar.

14. I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)- The Proclaimers “And I would walk 500 miles and I would 500 more..” If either one of these two came within 500 miles of my house I would file a restraining order. Freaks.

15. I’ve Been In Love Before- Cutting Crew “..the hardest part is when you’re in it…” Still a good song. No snide remarks here.

16. I Get Weak- Belinda Carslisle So fantastically fantastic. What’s her other song? Heaven on Earth? That’s good, too. Do any of you remember the other “I Get Weak (In The Knees) song by….SMW or SWF or something like that…back in 93 (approx)? I should download that song.

17. I Remember You- Skid Row They still kick ass. “Honey, I have a rock stars sweat on me! A real rock star!”-Jennifer Baldwin, Metal Factory, to her now husband at the Skid Row concert. Ryan was the best waiter EVER that night. Thanks again for getting us drinks so we didn't lose our front row seats :)

18. Lately- Jodeci (Unplugged) Oh…my…..goodness…..still makes me want to cry. Them Jodeci boys really know how to tug at your heart….

19. Never Surrender- Corey Hart I still hear this on the radio….it’s really not that good, but it is….

20. NO RAIN!!!!- Blindmelon Oh, I am so excited…it’s the bee song! It’s on here! It’s really on here!

21. Nothing Compares 2 U- Sinead O’Conner You know, this was my 6th grade “class song.” I don’t know why. It’s hella depressing, but that’s what everyone “voted on.” (I don’t remember the “vote,” but that’s neither here nor there). Whatever happened to Sinead anyways...didn't she spit on the Pope or something tragically destructive to her career? I can't remember.

OK, I have to stop now because I forgot my iPod charger, and the battery is about to die. I am going to listen to “No Rain” one more time before it does….

Posted by Catronics :: 7/14/2005 :: 3 Comments:

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Tuesday, July 12, 2005

The Great Hurricane Party of '05

I would just like to thank our host and hostess, Jenny and Ryan Baldwin, for the fabulous 27-hour long hurricane party. Complete with several rounds of "Go Powerpuff!," Scattergories, plenty of vodka, microdermabrasions, and a 2-year-old Dolphins v. Jets game, a good time was had by all. I would also like to thank Ryan and Chris for the wonderful 1am Fireworks Extravaganza, and Allison for the glittery makeovers! And, of course, thank you to Hurricane Dennis for supplying the hurricane, which prompted the party.


Posted by Catronics :: 7/12/2005 :: 3 Comments:

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Friday, July 08, 2005

Ryan called……it went something like this:

Ryan: “Feeeedeeerrrrr Baaaaaands!”

Cathie: “What do you want?”

Ryan: “What’s this about a hurricane party at my house? Why wasn’t this run by me?”

Cathie: “I asked Jenny.”

Ryan: “Blah, blah…blahblahblahblahblah…Blah!”

Cathie: “Whatever.”

Ryan: “My wife got wasted last night.”

Cathie: “Yeah, I heard…good times!”


Cathie: (snickering)

Ryan: “I heard the front door close, and then I heard tires screeching around my block (Kimmie).”

Cathie: (Full-blown laughter)

Ryan: “something, something…blahblah…”

Cathie: “My lunch is here…I have to go.”

Ryan: “You suck. I hate you.”

Cathie: (click)


From: Kim Green
Sent: Friday, July 08, 2005 2:13 PM
To: 'Lee, Jennifer M [CORP]'; 'Catherine Burns'
Cc: 'Ryan Baldwin'Subject:
RE: Tropical Storm Weather

OK SO I'M BACK From lunch AND I too spoke to Ryan. Ryan- I was not doing 90 MPH- he was drunk too. he didn't have a speedometer in front of him. how could he possibly know the speed of my car around that corner. I was at least doing 96-97 mph......
he he he.
I just tried to get out of there alive!!!

what does he know.

(End response)

I love you Ryan!!!!

Posted by Catronics :: 7/08/2005 :: 3 Comments:

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Thursday, July 07, 2005

Fourth of July in the Florida Keys

Snapper's Posted by Picasa

The 4th of July in the Keys…good times. Kimmie and I got down there pretty late on Saturday, thanks to the relentless Florida traffic. But, all’s well that ends well….

Kim’s boss, Patrick, was nice enough to let us use his house for the weekend (there’s your shout-out Patrick!! You are the best!) and, needless to say, the accommodations were FABULOUS. We dragged ass for a little while, since we were both exhausted, but we both agreed on one thing…we were going out. We went to Snapper’s for dinner (if you ever get the chance to eat at Snapper’s, do yourself a favor: Don’t.) and attempted to get into the partying spirit. That failed miserably, so we decided we needed some chemical stimulants, and headed over to Winn-Dixie to get Red Bull, vodka, and other assorted goodies for the weekend.

Now, allow me to this time to dissuade anyone who, in an effort to save time, decides that the Self-Checkout at Winn-Dixie would, as Kim so wrongfully put it, “be much quicker.”

At 9:00 p.m., the store was PACKED full of people stocking up for the 4th of July weekend. People with two (2) and three (3) carts were filling up each open lane, and allow me to add that it was hotter than Dante’s inferno in this store. Kim looked as though she were on the verge of a heat stroke, and decided that the Self-Checkout lane “would be muck quicker.” Although there were fewer people with far less items than the others in the Assisted-Checkout Lanes, this was not because it was “quicker” as it turns out. It’s just that, clearly, others have far more common sense than Kim and me.

We got in the Self-Checkout Lane that had only two (2) people in it, as opposed to the other lane that had four (4) people. Another critical error. I was busy reading the latest issue of STAR magazine, so I was not paying attention to the goings on around me, but when I looked up at Kimmie, beads of sweat had formed on her forehead and she looked….ill. Keep in mind that roughly ten (10) minutes had passed since we got into the line with only two (2) people in front of us. Anyways, unbeknownst to me, the man standing next to us had unleashed a great-American fart, which sent Kim into a tailspin of nausea. Fortunately, I was not affected by anything going on around me because:
1) I didn’t smell the odor emitted by B-Flat Bart at the adjacent Self-Checkout
2) I had my trusty iPod that placed me in my own world, far away from the freaks and
geeks that surrounded me.

Anyways, moving on, I tried to convince Kimmie that I could brave the Self-Checkout on my own, and that she should go wait in the car. Kim felt that she could stick it out with me. I thanked my battle-buddy for not leaving my side, and promptly put my ear buds back in my ears and jammed out to The Eagles. There was now only one (1) guy in front of us with a moderate amount of items to ring up, so I thought we were golden….we’d be out of there in no time. Twenty (20) minutes later, I realized I was wrong. Now, at this point, I deduced that some people were not made for Self-Checkout, and that this guy was an idiot.

Every time he scanned something, the sirens would blare, the lane light would blink uncontrollably, and the monitor would say “Please be patient. Help is ON the way!” Now, I still had my iPod on, although the volume was quite low, but Kim was on the verge of a breakdown. She looked…disturbed. I took turned the iPod off, and began to realize why she looked that way…..

The Winn-Dixie Self-Checkout Lane had turned into complete—and—total—mayhem. Stewart (Stu) Pidd in front of us—who, come to think of it, looked like Guy (our weekend cab driver)…more about him in my next installment—couldn’t so much as weigh his bananas and apricots without causing a store-lockdown. The three (3) greasy girls in the other lane were all huddled around the monitor trying to translate the transaction into Spanish, and their greasy boyfriend was leaning on the unopened Self-Checkout scanner, which prompted the speakers to blare “This lane is closed. Please try another lane. This lane is closed. Please try another lane.” And this went on, and on, and got louder, and louder, until Kim’s hair was, quite literally, standing on end.

Stu was finally able to finish ringing up his apricots and such, and then had to wait another 3-4 min. before the Winn-Dixie “Assistant” came back from her smoke break to give him change for the $100 bill he tried to feed the machine. It was finally our turn, and we experienced the same traumatic experience as Stu. It came to a point where the “Assistant” did not leave our side and monitored our every purchase since the machine seemed to be “malfunctioning.”

We paid for our goods; Kim strong-armed her way out, and then turned around to give a hardy double-bird to the entire store. I hope all of you have gained from our misfortune.

Please check back for Part II of our Islamorada Adventure, including fun facts from Drunk Lance and musings of Jeff-Rod and Charlie-Chris-Bob.

Posted by Catronics :: 7/07/2005 :: 2 Comments:

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