THE JAGER BOMB BLUES

As some of you may already know, jager bomb shots are one of my favorite shots to consume. If I am having a bad day at work, a bad week or just want to get f’d up, jager bombs work for me. Last night if you would have been at my local bar of choice, that will remain nameless for those of you who might have seen me, then you would have been forced to share in the experience of taking one. (Some of my friends order them like it’s the only drink on earth so you have to jump on the jager train or leave the establishment, with things being thrown at you and some undesirable name-calling I cannot repeat now.) Anyway, last night I was on top of the world. Felt a little like Kate & Leo in Titantic when he is standing up on top of the railing on the ship screaming like an idiot….oh my god I was standing up screaming the chorus of Pour Some Sugar On Me-oh MY GOD….but aaaanyways…this morning my friends….ugh, my ship has sank.

For those of you who have never experienced the thrill of consuming a jager bomb shot and you are considering doing one, here are five things you must follow:
1. Do not under any circumstances take more than 2 shots at one sitting.

2. Do not do them on a week night if you have to work the next day

3. If you must take them on a week night, make sure to start immediately after work so that you are not drinking straight from your bathroom faucet at three in the morning (because you can’t possibly make it down the stairs to get a glass of water.)

4. If you do not follow rules 1 and/or 2, at least make sure you eat something before going to bed to help soak up the jager that is sitting like a freaking rock in your stomach.

5. And my final rule is to hell with all the other rules. If you just want to get fucked up, take three + shots late at night on a week night and call in sick to work the next day and say you have a stomach bug.

Cheers.