Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Barbie is blackmailing me
Babs won’t send me her memories from her b-day party until I post her CVS story. This story is actually very amusing—she told me this at the gym last week, but I think it’s almost funnier in writing……
My CVS Experience
(you know, like Streisand)
Posted by Catronics ::
So here it goes …at CVS buying what is hands down the best face wash called “Mini Peel Hydrating Moisturizing Nourishing” by Olay…you get the picture. Anyways, so I sashay over to the check out, cuz that’s what I do now, I “sashay,” and the dumb ass ahead of me has mistaken the local CVS for a Costco and has damn near bought out the store, causing quite the queue to form. As I stand in line anxiously waiting my turn, I notice the older man standing next to me. He was fairly unremarkable, but he kept leering at me. It was so creepy--I looked away but I could feel his beady eyes messing with the buttons on my shirt! (wait, a touch too dramatic?—no) So finally after what has felt like an eternity, it is my turn at the check out. Again this Mother Fella is still jockin’! I take out my wallet to pay, and proceed to go when I notice this man has set his purchases down on the check out counter. I was almost home free when, as I glanced down, I saw what this guy was getting ready to throw his greenbacks down for ………ok brace yourselves……
Item 1. What had to be the LARGEST box of Condoms I’ve ever seen! I mean seriously I didn’t know there are people who need 7000 condoms in one box!
Item 2. The biggest tube of KY I’ve ever seen, I mean really he needed that much to go with item # 1.
And finally, a bottle of Trim Spa that he picked up at the Impulse section of the store (aka the checkout).
I’m seeing all this go down, and I’m sure the look of disgust on my face could be mistaken by this creepy man-- who had now morphed from a simple John Q. Public to a hideous dirty and insanely creepy rapist hiding out behind parked cars just waiting to assault some poor unsuspecting soul with his many condoms, lots of lube and Ann Nicole crazy inducing Trim Spa!—as flirtation. So as I look up from his party favors he sees the look of disgust on my face and do you know what he did?
DO you? Well he looked me right in the eye smirked and winked at me…..ugggggggghhhh……needless to say, I ran home doused my self with gasoline and sparked up! I really can’t say why I felt so dirty having been witness to this man’s clearly dirty purchases. I mean I’m no prude but really I think it was the wink the pushed me over the edge. Seriously Trim Spa?
OK Babs, happy now? Now get to work. Tita has sent me hers, so now we are just waiting on you. Your procrastination is causing quite the “queue” of stories to form. I need to catch up before Key West, G-ville, and all of December sneak up on me! Thank you for your cooperation.
Post / Read Comments